Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mommy Meltdown

It made its appearance this morning. Actually, it raged in from no where and seriously interrupted our otherwise peaceful morning. Things were going along just fine, we had made it out the door just in the nick of time to get to school without being tardy... but then it happened. Mommy meltdown.

One short sarcastic comment from my daughter caused a nuclear explosion of words and emotions that caught both of my daughters off guard. In fact, it caught me off guard.

Why did I get so upset about this one statement, of which I had heard many times before? Why did I have to blow my top in the morning right before school? Why did I get so upset anyway? Why today?

The only excuses I can come up with are 1) hormones, or 2) frustration, and 3) having lost all tolerance for sarcasm, or 4) not spending enough time with God lately. Okay, I have to admit, that maybe it was a combination of all four, but regardless of the reason, the result was not pretty. Nope. In fact I think I will rank it up there with one of my less finer moments in life. One of those moments where you wish life was a camcorder, and you could just rewind and redo it all over again.

One of those moments, when sitting in the aftermath, I can do nothing but wish I had a do-over button, and ask God to forgive me. And fortunately, He does. Time and time again. Unconditionally.

But how easy it is for us moms to reach our final breaking point, even over something seemingly trivial. Sometimes being a mom is hard, exhausting, tiring and frustrating. Saying the same old things over and over every day, without seeing any changes occurring, gets... well... just plain old. And then as a result, something triggers our emotions, and "it" happens - as if one tiny rock landed on a huge pile of rocks, and caused the entire rock pile to crumble to the ground.

A crumbled pile of rocks, named "mommy meltdown". So after I dropped off the girls, I prayed all the way home from school for God to forgive me, and I know He did. However, God didnt stop there. When I turned on the radio, a preacher was talking about controlling our anger.

Ooooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyy, I would write that up as a coincidence, but I knew it was a God-incidence.

And then after returning home, I read my Proverbs 31 daily devotion for today, which was talking about how powerful Gods love is, and that when we continue to do things that we know are wrong or feel badly about, that it is only the powerful love of God that carries us through.

God gently reminded me that it is His conviction, not condemnation, that helps us seek forgiveness and restoration, and through Him, we can learn how to respond in love, even when we are on the verge of a meltdown.

The key verse for todays devotion was 2 Peter 1:3 "By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." (NLT)

In my own power, I cannot hold my temper when my children cross the same boundaries that they have been told countless times not to cross.

In my own power, I will not feel guilty for sinning, if I feel that sin was justified, or my actions warranted.

In my own power, I cannot forgive those who hurt my feelings or made me mad.

In my own power, I cannot find the humility needed to apologize and ask for grace and forgiveness, not only from God, but also from others.

But in Gods power, I can still be the sweet and loving mommy that God has called me to be, even in a heated moment.

In His power, I can find the strength, humility, mercy, grace, patience and love, to bestow upon others, just as He has bestowed them upon me.

By His power, I can be forgiven for my messups (a.k.a., meltdowns) and ask Him to guide my thoughts, words and actions each day, empowering me to live a Godly life, because of His marvelous glory and power working within me.

By His power, I can have patience and tolerance that are NOT in our innate human nature, thus preventing, any future mommy meltdowns of epic proportions.

So I texted both of my girls this morning apologizing for my mommy meltdown. And they quickly texted back with words of kindness, apologies of their own, and forgiveness. Sometimes this texting stuff is not that bad afterall.

And sometimes, humility and apologies are the greatest gifts we can give to others, even if we are the mommy, especially when we consider how important those gifts are to us when we are the recipient of those gifts.

The truth is, meltdowns are not simply saved for two year olds. Yep, us mommies can have those too. It doesnt make us a bad mommy, just a human mommy. And if anything positive can come out of a meltdown, it is the realization that we dont have the power to do life on our own - and that we need Gods power working within us to keep us in line, and walking in love.

My girls will be getting off the bus shortly - and I anticipate some serious hugging taking place, along with some home made brownies, of course. Nothing smooths over meltdowns, like chocolate.

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Bobbi said...

Just had such a meltdown but had to be "cool" about it as I am trying to teach my 16 yr. old daughter to drive and we live in a rather large city - you know, just going two blocks to the grocery store, no big deal right? Why don't teens like to use the brake? Didn't hit anything but almost... nerves need a bubble bath now. Thanks Tracie for not making me feel like I am the only mom losing it from time to time. :)

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

I've been there and done that! Our daughters are raised now, but your story sure brought back some of those earlier memories. What they will remember Tracie, isn't the mommy meltdowns but the memories from the mommy delicious brownies!!!!


Tracie Miles said...

Bobbi - I totally know what you are talking about! My oldest is learning to drive, and I nearly have a meltdown, or either a heart attack, every time she gets behind the wheel. Just another example of how much we need that power within us! And LeeAnn - I hope that the brownies are all they remember!Maybe I need to pray for their forgetfulness too. Smiles.

Wander said...

Oh my goodness! I just blogged last night about this (only I didn't confess any meltdowns).
I'm so anxious lately!

I'm too busy....and not in the word!
Thanks Tracie!
I'm getting some holy confirmation here......
bless ya, friend!

Rhonda said...

Hi Tracie,
Your so right...We are only human beings.

Just slipping you a little note of encouragment. You are a great Mom:) Hang in there. Keep pushing forward. Stay strong.

Had a little fall out over spring break with my purchasing His car. Wanted to purchase the first one he seen without shopping around. Saved him quite a few bucks by waiting and looking more. He came up to me when all was said and done and Thanked Me for having him wait and look more. The time in between was hard....but I know God wants us to have this young man prepared when he gets ready to go into the real world.

Thanks Tracie....God Bless


Aimee W said...

I really enjoy your blog. I can definitely relate to this article. My anger often gets the best of me. I try to do things on my own way too much!! Then I stop and realize that I simply CANNOT do it on my own!!
Thanks for the blog!