Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Sure Cure For Friend-Less-Ness

I had the most wonderful weekend. A blessed weekend packed full of friends, conversation, fun and laughter. Although that might not sound like anything out of the ordinary to you, it was a special blessing for me.

You see, several years ago, I went to a womens conference and heard the speaker say the strangest thing.

I do not remember where I attended this conference, the name of it, or what the conference was even about. I honestly cannot even remember the name of the speaker who shared this strange statement......but I do remember her statement and her challenge vividly.

It was not an overly profound statement, and in fact, many women may have forgotten her statement before the conference even ended, but it struck a chord in my heart.

Her statement was this: "Ladies, pray for friends".

She simply encouraged us, and challenged us, to pray for God to bring friends into our lives.

Why? Because women need friends.

The funny thing is that prior to going to this conference, I was dealing with a small case of 'friend-less-ness'.

My college friends had all gone in different directions and we hardly ever saw each other anymore.

I had left all of my friends from work behind, when I made the choice to resign from my job and focus on ministry and being a stay at home mom.

I had lots of sweet acquaintances from church and work and from within my community, but none that I could really call my BFF's. And deep in my heart, I longed for more.

It seemed like everyone I knew already had a BFF and so instead of stepping outside of my little comfort zone of inhibitions and just picking up the phone, I would assume that they really didnt need me for a friend anyway. I know that sounds totally lame - but maybe, just maybe, some of you can relate.

So this was my state of mind when I went to this conference. Although I was not consciously focusing on feelings of 'friend-less-ness' when I walked through the front doors, God knew what I needed to hear that day and had a special, and unexpected message for me.

I have to admit, that upon hearing this speaker tell us to pray and ask God to bring friends into our lives, I quietly thought "how pathetic". Pathetic that someone would be so desperate as to have to pray for close friends.

After all, should we not just automatically have a bunch of close friends, like the women you see in the movies, that do everything together, laugh together and share secrets together? Women who can let their guard down, tell jokes, be selfish but forgiven, and be able to relax around each other? Women who are your BFF's, despite all your flaws?

That would be nice, but the truth is, good friends are hard to come by at any age, but even harder as we get older.

Truly good friends - the type of friends that warm your heart - do not just drop into our lives accidentally, but instead, they are an answer to prayer. A blessing that God created us to crave. A treasure that we discover as we not only find a friend, but learn to be a good friend as well.

So God spoke to my heart that day through this nameless, faceless speaker, and I pushed aside my insecurities, and began to pray for friends. I asked God to fill my life with good friends, and to satisfy my craving for friendship.

Fast forward one year - I began to see special people becoming involved in my life. I began to realize that slowly but surely, God was orchestrating encounters and situations in my life which allowed me to get to know new people. I began to see some of my current relationships blossoming into closer friendships.

I began to see God at work - blessing me with sweet friends from all walks of life.

Such a simple little prayer, but a marvelous result of an abundance of little blessings, one by one.

Today, I feel truly blessed to have more BFF's than I could have ever imagined, some closer than others, but I thank God for each and every one of them.

God hears even the smallest, yet deepest longings of our hearts, and when we release those feelings to Him, then He can really get to work.

If you are feeling even the tiniest twinge of unspoken "friend-less-ness" today, then I want to reassure you that you are not alone!

Every womans heart longs for deep friendships and close relationships with people they can share life with.

So if you find yourself with that friendship craving today - then I want to encourage you to pray for friends! Pray for them each and every day, and then prepare to keep your spiritual eyes open so that you can see when God is working on answering that prayer.

Most importantly, develop a consistent mindset that no friend encounter is a coincidence - but instead, a God-incidence, which can eventually turn into a sweet cure for even the worst case of "friend-less-ness:

God made the world with a heart full of love,
Then He looked down from Heaven above,

And saw that we all need a helping hand,
Someone to share with, who'll understand.

He made special people to see us through
The glad times and the sad times, too;

A person on whom we can always depend,
Someone we can call a friend.

God made friends so we'll carry a part
Of His perfect love in all our hearts.

Author Anonymmous


Here are a couple pictures from our girls-weekend/tennis-playing getaway this past weekend. We stayed four days at Hilton Head, SC and camped out on the Van Der Meer courts for hours and hours. Fun, friendship and fellowship (and tennis!) - who could ask for more? Smiles.

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Allison Morrison said...

Thank you Tracie...you were talking to me today! I never really thought about praying for God to send me friends...but now I will!

Wander said...

Awesome! I'm doing it!

Pray for friends! It is profound!

Christa said...

It is as if you wrote exactly what I was feeling and thinking. I will pray that God will bring me friends. I really appreciate your openness. It is so ecouraging to know I am not the only one who thinks stuff like this.
Thank you,
Christa from Simi Valley, CA

Anonymous said...

I've recently moved (2 years) okay so not so recently and have been praying for God to bring friends into my life...Thanks for the confirmation!!!

Anonymous said...

It never occurred to me to pray for friends! But I'm a little fearful that God will answer "Yes." My husband has a mental illness that makes him very clingy and jealous when I spend time with other people. He fears being abandoned and being talked-about. Even spending time with my mom, who is probably my closest friend, makes him fearful and dysregulated.
But my Jesus-girl heart truly needs some good girl-friends, so I will pray for friends and for healing for my dear hubby.
Thank you!

Melanie said...

The tennis get a way sounds like so much fun! I do not play tennis but am a runner and I have thought about a retreat for running women.

KELLY W said...

Thank you Tracie.....A few days late reading, but definately spoken to me! I've linked your page to my blog about needing friends....girlfirends that is!!!

AveryHome said...

What a wonderful testimony to God's answering prayers. Made me think of Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Awesome!

Fields of gold said...

Sweet words! And so glad you found a beautiful group of girls to live life with! I once joined a friend of mine in prayer for him to have more friends...Jonatah/David type friends. And sure enough, God answered in a big way! Hope others pray that prayer too!

Love ya!
Samantha Reed *from the P31 office

Eileen said...

I loved this! I was so desperate for a friend years ago and now I have a beautiful friend because she was praying for me!! It works :)

Anonymous said...

Seeing you and your tennis friends makes me miss my tennis friends! I haven't played in a while but it used to be a 3 day a week activity for me. Now I want to get back in touch with those friends and spend some time. I am going to pray that God will open the doors for ma again. Thanks for the inspiration.

Caroline said...

Great call to pray for our friends and for friends we need or want! Beautiful poem at the end, as well.

Rachel Olsen said...

I too have prayed for God to send me godly girlfreinds. And He has! I praise Him for that, and for you.