Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I am....

I was hopping around the web doing some blog reading this morning, and loved what what my sweet friend Melissa did on her blog today. She was inspired by her 8 year old daughter who had been given an assignment at school to write answers to some open ended questions about herself.

It was thought provoking, so I thought I would give it a shot too, and see what God brought to mind. Below are the things that I thought of as I pondered these simple questions:

I am.......... a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a friend; a sister in law, a daughter in law; a woman who loves to write; a woman who loves to see women crying with tears of joy in the raw moment of truly grasping and understanding Gods forgiveness and grace; a woman who wants to have a happy marriage and a happy family above all else.

I wonder.......... about the future; what life will hold for my children; what the country will be like as they get older; what my life will be like when they are all grown and moved away with families of their own; why bad things have to happen to good people.

I hear.......... my teenage daughters singing and dancing together; my children laughing; the soothing sounds of the ocean and seagulls; my 16 year old daughter playing her guitar upstairs and singing along in her beautiful voice; my husbands garage door opening, letting me know he is home from work and ready to spend the evening with his family.

I see.......... nature, green trees, flowers and beauty; the vastness of the ocean and never cease to be amazed; people hurting other people and wonder how they can do the things they do.

I want.......... to have a storybook marriage; healthy, happy and thriving kids; to have my book published; to grow in my speaking ministry.

I am.......... just an ordinary woman who regardless of her efforts to try to be perfect, fails daily; a woman in need of Gods grace and mercy; a woman who loves God and stands in awe every day of how He has changed my life over the past ten years; a woman who still finds it hard to believe how God knows us so well, hears our thoughts and intervenes in our individual lives.

I pretend.......... that everything is fine and great in front of other people, even when I am hurting inside for some reason.

I feel.......... an overwhelming responsibility to raise kids who love the Lord with all their heart, and to protect them from harm; depressed when people hurt my feelings, and angry when people hurt my childrens feelings in some way; hopeless and sad about my sisters illness.

I touch.......... the ones I love, with hugs and snuggles; my steering wheel, during the several hours a day I spend in the car taking my kids to school and extracurricular activities; a DVD every morning when I do my P90x workout, even if exercising is the last thing I want to do.

I worry.......... about the peer pressures of adolescence on my children; about mean girls and bullies at school whose favorite hobby is to hurt and degrade others; about my husband worrying too much about work; about my sisters health; about my parents finances and stability; about people not liking me; about my childrens safety when they are away from me.

I cry..........when my children are struggling with rejection, betrayal, hurt or disappointment; when my husband and I get in a fight; when I watch sad movies, or even sentimental TV commercials for that matter; at funerals, even if I didnt know the person at all.

I am.......... a woman who feels immediately convicted and guilty whenever I snap at the kids or let my temper get the best of me, especially over silly, stupid little things.

I understand.......... that no matter how hard or painful things are in life, that God really can use them for good.

I say.......... clean up your room, pick up your shoes, put away your stuff, put your clothes in the laundry, you need to eat something, get in the car, hurry up, why did you treat your sister/brother like that, calm down, and do not use that tone with me... way too much.

I dream.......... of having multiple books published; of continuing with my speaking and growing in Christ; of a day when my sister will be healed from MS; about what heaven will be like; of traveling the world with my hubby one day.

I try.......... to be the best wife, mom and person I can be; to be one who can forgive easily and quickly, and not hold onto grudges; to be a Godly role model for my children.

I hope.......... that God will keep His holy hand on our family, that He will send angels to be a hedge of protection around my children for years to come; that my husband and I will grow closer together as we get older; that the economy will rebound soon; that my parents will stay healthy and active; that the dreams in my heart will one day come true.

I am.......... Gods child, loved and adored, regardless of my mistakes, shortcomings and failures.

I am, just me, but God loves me anyway.

Friends, think about how you would answer these questions today. It might help some feelings and dreams bubble up that you have not thought of lately, and bring to light some priorities that may have taken a back burner in your life. Reflection can sometimes lead to positive change.

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5 comments:

Melissa Taylor said...

Tracie,

Yay! I love that you did this today! Wasn't it thought provoking? It kind of took me by surprise at how much it made me reflect and think deep. But I think it's such a healthy exercise!

I loved reading your thoughts and I could tell they were straight from your heart :)

Love you,
Melissa

Shelia said...

Beautiful!!!! That's all I can say. The love of Christ, your family and the world around you really shone through your thoughts. Thank you for sharing.

Crystal said...

I want to be in the center of God's perfect will for my life. I need to make a decision in the next few days and I am almost paralyzed by it - wanting to do what God wants me to, even if it's hard. Please pray for me.

Anonymous said...

Tracie,
I think your devotions are great and I look forward to trying this exercise. Thanks

Lindsey Feldpausch said...

I really like all of them, but especially identified with the "I understand" one :)