Monday, May 7, 2012

7 Ways To Know When Anger Is Sin

Everybody gets angry from time to time, because anger is a completely normal human emotion.

But when our anger gets out of our control, begins to rule our life, or turns destructive - it becomes a problem, and a sin. If ignored, it can cause difficulties in our marriages, relationships, at our workplaces and in our every day life.

Being angry in and of itself is not a sin. In fact, there are many instances in the Bible when anger is approved of, and even called "righteous indignation".  For example, Psalm 7:11 says "God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day."  God is righteously angry - not at the people - but at the actions of the people and the damaging effects they have on others.  

Another example is Mark 3:5 which says "He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored."  Jesus was frustrated, discouraged, heartbroken and even angered that the people were more worried about what day of the week it was, than seeing a person healed of their disability. They only cared about rules, not hearts, and Jesus was righteously angered at this.

It seems that the underlying factor for righteous anger is when anger is in defense or support of a biblical principle and serves to better a situation or a person, not in defense or support or our own motives trying to push our own agendas. 

There are many other examples in the Bible about righteous anger, from God and from people, but the majority of the time, the strong emotions of anger that we feel could not be labeled as righteous - no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that they are. 

As I mentioned in today's Proverbs 31 devotion, I recently came face to face with the reality that my anger was causing me to live in sin and was stealing my joy. Only when I quit trying to convince myself that my anger was justified, was God able to work in my heart, repair relationships, and turn everything around for His good. 
 
So when does anger become sin? How do we know if we are righteously angry, or sinfully angry?

Below are 7 ways to know when our anger is sinful: 

1. When the reason for being angry is selfishly motivated. 
     James 1:20  "because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires"

2.  When being angry is not glorifying God or defending His name.
     1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of  
      God.

3. When anger goes on for so long, that it gives the devil a foothold in your heart. 
     Ephesians 4:26b-27 Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the
     devil a foothold. 

4. When anger is so volatile, that it begins to bring emotional or physical harm to others. 
     Psalm 37:8  Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to
     harm.

5. When anger causes us to hold grudges against people with the intent of making them suffer.
     Ephesians 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types
     of evil behavior.  

6. When anger makes us unwilling to forgive, and consumed with revenge. 
     Ephesians 4:32  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God
     through Christ has forgiven you.

7. When we hold on so tightly to our anger, that we begin to feel depressed and irritable, often
     erupting over small insignificant things.
      Hebrews 12:15  Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch
      out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. 

According to a recent post by Gotquestions.org, there are two Greek words which are used in the New Testament for our English word "anger". The first definition means "passion,energy", and the second means "agitated, boiling".  This site also stated that "Biblically, anger is God-given energy intended to help us solve problems."  Being angry does require energy, but if this energy is boiling with anger and focused on attacking a person, instead of a situation, then destruction of various sorts is sure to occur. 

In some cases, anger might be nothing more than feeling a little miffed about a situation. But in other cases, anger can turn deadly.  Unfortunately, anger is the root cause of many violent situations, causing people to get so agitated that they kill someone in a fit of rage. 

However, in most cases, anger kills relationships, damages self esteem, steals joy, shatters communications, inflicts emotional damage, and creates a barrier between us and God.. 

Are you holding onto anger about a situation or person?  Have you considered the toll that anger, even if humanly justified, is taking on your heart, your relationships, and your life? Have you tried to convince yourself that you have a right to be angry, and therefore your anger is not sin? 

If you answered yes to any of the questions, please know that you are not alone.  Life is hard, but we don't have to get hard with it - yet, prolonged anger, fueled by unforgiveness, makes our hearts hard. 

If you would like for me to pray for you today with respect to anger you are struggling with, please leave a comment ON MY BLOG. 

Anger is not a fun subject to talk about, but is a subject that Christians cannot ignore if we are serious about our relationship with Christ. The first step towards overcoming our anger is admitting that we are struggling with it. Through admission of our weakness, He can begin working powerfully in our heart, and in the circumstances or people that have hurt us.

Pray about these verses above for the next couple days, and on Wednesday, I will offer 5 suggestions on "how" to handle anger from God's perspective.  

Hugs.








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63 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please please please pray for me. I struggle with this exact issue in my life. I can pretend so long that I am ok and then I will have an off day or moment and it all comes out. God knows my story and my need....

Tara said...

Hi Tracie. This is right on time for me. My anger has been a crutch and protector of my heart when I feel vulnerable. I can't forgive my husband for his affair and inappropriate behavior with women. After being separated for almost 2 years I want a divorce. It came out in counseling that I do not show godly forgiveness and that is what is impeding reconciliation. I feel like everybody wants me to just get over it already. Years of hurt and betrayal- just like that? I'm at a dead end here and don't know what to do, but my anger is killing me for sure. I don't want to be angry, but I need to protect myself from being used. Can you please pray for my heart? -Red

karen said...

Thanks for your Proverbs 31 post today, Tracie. I always appreciate when Christian women own up to the anger that threatens our relationships rather than send a message that we should be "better than that." I have had my own anger battles, which were further complicated by guilty feelings about how "good Christian women" should behave. God used that verse in James 1:20 to show me that I needed to learn how to process anger, since it doesn't bring about the righteous life He desires. That was a starting point for me, but it is always something I am going to struggle with, since God has surrounded me with imperfect people who bring out my imperfections on a regular basis! Thanks again

Anonymous said...

This is one of the hardest lessons to live: How to forgive someone when they are not interested nor do they acknowledge their ill behavior toward you. All my christian women friends fuel my indignation and feeling of being right in my 'she's wrong and I'm right' attitude. Thank you for this message. I have a lot of work to do. Today I will concentrate on walking humbly with God and choosing joy.

jenna felmlee said...

Hi Tracie I am dealing with the same issues my husband had affair with another woman and when he got caught he was confronted by me and our family and at first he left and said he didn't care but then he came back and I told him we needed counseling his brother is a preacher so we started out with the counseling but now he wonts to live s double life wants to go with his friends and drink and flirt with other woman and I not to tell his brother that he's doing this I have told him but its so hard his brother and his wife want me to confront him because he can't live a double life he goes to church and pretends I mean I feel I am for looks we go to church and I pray everyday but me having to deal with him and his lies to me every day is so hard to forgive him when he keeps doing it over and over and just when I am having a good day he comes home and tells me nothing I do is right I don't know how to do anything he never used to be like that and I am having a hard time dealing with him I feel he font love me but we both came from christian homes so I do have a lot of support I just need to know how can I forgive him and keep my relationship with god and not let him ruin my walk with god when i deal with the samethings every day he has no compassion for me or my feeling even when I do talk to him he work a lot but does it so he don't have to be around me sorry I am rambling just want to know how I can make my walk with god stronger and be able to forgive my husband I am hurt buy the things he does everyday that's why it keeps me u pset and angry

Anonymous said...

Plese pray for me. I know God is continuing to heal my relationship. There are days that I am ok and have my joy back and then crash something will trigger all those emotions all over again, then anger rears its ugly head again. My prayer is "Equip me with a supernatural ability to forgive those who have hurt me and to guard my heart when old emotions threaten to surface." Thank you for sharing your heart!

Berthina Lawhorn said...

Thank you for todays lesson. Please pray for me and the anger I hold against my daughter. Our relationship is not of what I think it should be and I continue to guide my family to get closer and lean more on God, the more satan tries to steal my joy. Well, I am not going to let that happen! After reading your message this morning, I know that things will get better. And the hurt and pain that I am holding is not needed BC of the God we serve. Please pray for the Lawhorn family. God bless...

Susan said...

Hi Tracie,
Thank you for your post. It came just when I needed it. Praise God, he sees us and knows our true hearts. I have been dealing with a verbally and emotionally abusive husband for a long time. I have removed myself and my son(11) out of the house and it will be two years that we have been apart. Both my son and myself deal with anger issues... I am constantly asking and seeking answers from God's word, but it is as if this anger is something bigger than us. Why can't God take the problem away? When we try to be forgiving and kind we get an earful and are told horrible things from my husband! The hurt continues....therefore it feels impossible to move forward when attacks are constant. How do we forgive??? I have even tried to stop any kind of contact with my husband because he just attacks constantly. My son sees my husband but needs detox when he comes back to me! I am in desperate need of prayer and wisdom. Please pray for my son Joey and me:)

Kelly Langston said...

I've been dealing with this all week, Tracie. Thank you for sending me just the right message.

Sarah said...

I appreciate any prayers...as I struggle with my relationship with my oldest daughter. Your devotion and blog post really hits hard on my inner struggle. I've printed off the verses and will pray over them...that I can let go of this anger and show the love of Christ with my daughter daily. Thank you for writing on this.

Unknown said...

Well I woke up in a total funk of not caring. I have problems with my 7 yr. old at times which is soo frustrating so I came into a funk of not caring. I've been trying to ask my counselor how to deal with anger. I know I result to anger sometimes with my kids. I'm working on it. I am thinking of not seeing the counselor because when I ask her how to deal with it she tells me just tell myself to just not to take it personal with the kids. I just want to be a good mom! I need to school my kids. I want to really sit at the computer all day. Also my husband doesn't put me 1st which makes me feel unimportant. I have to ask him to talk with me which still doesn't happen. Last night I kept asking him to talk with me , and so I got up in a funk. When we aren't okay I am not okay with the kids..so hard!!

Linda said...

Tracie, thank you for choosing this subject matter...or maybe God was speaking to me again ! I attended a women's retreat two weeks ago at which the speaker's subject was forgiveness, last Monday my daughter in law wrote in her blog about forgiveness, my Bible Study Fellowship lesson last week touched on forgiveness, now your blog. Thank you God for knowing where my weakness is and speaking to me in Grace and Mercy. Thank you again, Tracie for being open to this subject and for being an instrument of God.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing about anger today. This is something that often steals my joy and shows itself in my relationship with my daughter. I have a lot of suppressed anger at my father for abandoning me as a child and towards my adopted father who molested me and my sister for years. When I had my daughter - I was not prepared for the deep and profound love and feelings of protectiveness of her. Now she is almost 4 and while I do love her deeply - she is what I would call a very 'spirited' child - often defiant and lots of power struggles. I find myself sometimes over-reacting and/or just staying in a place of frustration with her - which is not the relationship I want! I long for a closer and easier relationship and I want to heal from the past - and continue to grow with JOY with my own child. Thank you so much for your prayers - this blog helped me a lot today. I was in tears when I woke up this morning and after getting my daughter out the door for school - so a bit of hope has been restored. Bless you.

Anonymous said...

Hi tracie! Thanks so much for this post! I struggle with this a lot and am need of prayer. My 4 year old daughter and I have been having a really hard time the last year or so and I feel myself getting more and more angry every day - with the big things and the little things. It's gotten to a point where I wake up in the morning feeling angry and bitter before we even make contact. I can even see her having a hard time dealing with her anger and I fear it's because of the example I am setting for her. Thank you for this insight and these powerful words, and please be praying for my daughter and I and our relationship and that I can put my anger aside and show her the unconditional love and patience she deserves.
Amber

Anonymous said...

Dear Tracie, I have struggled with anger all my life. I know that the Lord has been working on me and recently, it was revealed to me my a lot of my anger is an overflow of my selfishness. Nevertheless, I still struggle with it; i hate it and want it gone. Please pray that I wold make running to the Lord first a habit in my life so that frustrations and expectations can be left with Him.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tracie. I had just ask God to forgive my Anger and fill me with Joy earlier this morning. Then I read your devotional and I feel it is affirmation that HE heard. My situation is ongoing, but I would ask that you pray for Strength, for Peace, and for my Joy to return. This is the Season in my life that God has placed me in, I pray that He gives me the Grace to go forward...

Toni said...

Thank you for this. I struggle with anger issues as does my 2nd oldest son. I am so tired of always feeling frustrated and am tired of always yelling at my children. I know that this is a family issue, one that has been passed down and it needs to stop with me. I don't want my children to only remember me as the yelling mom. Please also pray for me to stop feeling anger towards my younger sister who has shut me off of her life because of her anger issues. God bless you.

Stacy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Thank you, Tracie, for this devotional today. It is timely after dealing with issues in my marriage yesterday. I have been dealing with anger toward my husband when he drinks because it brings out only negative things in him (anger included) and my response is to grow angry at him. I have prayed for him and he improves for short periods, but always backslides. This has been a struggle for more than 20 years. I am so tired of dealing with it and his irresponsibility that it has harbored anger, bitterness, and withdrawal. It has affected our relationship in negative ways and also the children. Please pray for us as I share this devotional with him and I ask God to help me with my attitude and response. It is causing me such anxiety that I cannot function well at work or at home. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Tracie, thank you for your message on forgiveness. I have been dealing with hatred and unforgiveness in my heart since my husbands affair with another woman. It is really hard because she was a mutual friend, who was also a Christian who worked along beside my husband at a Christian school. I never thought this would happen to me in a million years. I have forgiven my husband and he has repented and is very remorseful. We are working very hard on our marriage but i think about this woman too much and carry so much anger, bitterness and hatred. Please pray for me that I can somehow forgive this woman for her betrayal against me so I can move forward with my life.

Judy said...

Oh Tracie, I could use a prayer to ease the resentment in my heart toward my husband and other members of my family. But also, just reading the comments here has been helpful. For the most part, we are all struggling with the same thing - hurt caused by family relationships. Those seem to be the ones hardest to forgive probably because the person to blame the hurt on is often a constant in your life. How do you let go of something that feels like it's constantly recurring?

Stacy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacy said...

First let me thank God for Tracie's need to share on anger this morning. I'm in desperate need of forgiveness with my anger. It has led to angy words and hurt hearts & feelings. I found out this weekend that my husband has yet another female " friend " that I knew nothing about. That makes the 3rd " friend " in our short married life. Female friends are fine but when they are women I have never heard of until after I find their text messages, that creates doubt & hurt, which turns into anger for me. When my heart hurts, my tongue turns into a sword. Please pray for my struggling mouth and my inability to keep it shut when my heart is hurting.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tracie...your message is a "timely" one, as God has been teaching me "many" things...and one thing just seems to roll over into another of late. I pray you pray for me for 'my' anger...I knwo you do not need to know who I am because God already knoews...but I pray you would pray. God spoke to me many years ago, as a babe in Christ with the scripture from James about being "swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger"...and as I child I took it at it's value worth and command...but now it is a different level and I paty that you will pray for me....I know I can ask God directly myself for this but I guess somethimes it helps to ask for others to pary for us too....thank you...and thank you for your "honesty" and your sharing of this word and message....In His Love....a sister in Christ. :o)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your devotional and blog post. They are right on time as I rolled off of last night -- frustratingly realizing that I continue to be hurt, after, sad, etc. over an unthinkable situation. I hate that I am struggling and suffering as a casualty in someone else's sin. I know I have a right to be angry, but it is draining me. I don't want to be this way, but Im having a hard time as Im.reminded constant about the "physical unfaithfulness." We were/are/? in a long courtship and waiting, but...were both surprised by what happened. I feel paralyzed with what to do and angry and at being in this position. The journey to recovery seems long and it seems that Ill have to be forever guarded about this huge pain in my heart. Sigh. Again, thanks for your devotional. It was on the nail with what Im feeling, the voices, the piling up of sins from this anger, my weak grasp on joy, fear of a hardened heart etc. Thank you for your extension of prayer. I can sure use it. Thank you for letting God use you.

Anonymous said...

Tracy,

Have you ever been angry at God? What does a person do when they are?

Grace 2:8-9 said...

Anger is causing me to avoid a response to a call to ministry. All starting with a terrible act that happened to me when I was three years old. One of the individuals has now passed away and I am scared of the other. I hold on to the anger because I can not feel closure. I have tried and tried, but I really don't know how to let it go. I pray about it a lot, but my flesh still brings up these feelings. Please pray for me as I intentionally seek to come to a place of forgiveness with these people in order to let go of my anger and answer this call that God is placing on my life.

Kim said...

Hi, Tracie. My husband made a confession last week that has totally angered me. Please pray for me that God will move my heart to forgive him.

Kristen said...

My husband and I are separated. It is difficult for me because we went through a period of lies and deceit for several years prior to separation. I became angry and resentful prior to separation. And even more sad and resentful when he left. I have tried to overcome the anger and resentment and after 7 months of separation he now wants to come home. How do I trust him again.....

Anonymous said...

I struggle with forgiving people when they don't ask for it or repent. I struggle with knowing how to forgive but love at arms length as they are familly.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your message Tracie. My husband and I are trying to "launch" our 22 year old son who has been living at home after being at college for the last 4 years. I fine myself frequently angry and frustrated at him and my husband. He's working parttime (thank you God), so he can actively look for full time work. I don't think he is spending so much time on his full time job search that he can't find another parttime job on weekends, but I'm the only one that feels that way. I've been praying for Gods help and I've been seeing and feeling his hands in our life. My husband and I had a very healthy discussion about this on Saturday, but I know I need all the prayers I can get to continue to help me deal with my frustration and be a positive help to my family so we can call successfully navigate this stressful situation.

Anonymous said...

What a great topic to cover! Thank you for your insights and gentle challenges!

Anonymous said...

I tend to get angry at myself which in turn is poured out to others and certain situations bring out the worst in me. A lot of my anger is due to my relationship with the Lord or the lack thereof. Growing up I was not an obedient child, well it was forced obedience. I have had bouts of this with the Lord and have found myslef there again. I just get so angry that i can't have a consistent walk with the Lord and would like it to change. I get angry when I see others so full of joy and enjoying their relationship with Him that it makes me sick. I just want a good relationship with the Lord, but my lack of being obedient is hindering it. Thanks for your prayers.

Beth said...

For the past six months I have been so hurt and angry over the ending of a relationship. I dont nderstand why it ended, there was no fighting or arguing, He just desided he wanted to be with a woman he had been friends with who was leaving her husband. I huess I should be thankful that it happened when it did instad of later on and us possibly being married and it happening. I have held on t this hurt for so long that it has crippled my emotions and the need to move on. I so want to be free of this anger. After reading this blog and praying I feel like little by little the anger is being chipped away at. Thank you for this amazing blog. Beth Carpenter

Elaine said...

Please pray for me as I struggle greatly in this area. My husband had a long term romantic and sexual affair and I am having great difficulty w/ anger, hurt/pain, and forgivenss. I think the anger is impeding our efforts at reconciliation. I found out 5 months ago and have further damaged the already fragile relationship w/ my anger and rage.
Thank you!

Vicki said...

I threw a hissy fit, a couple of days ago, because I had tried to take action that would protect our cash flow, for this month and next. Communication broke down in any one of several places, and it ended up costing us more money than it should have. I didn't yell or use any bad words, but my husband had no doubt that I was very angry. I quietly ranted, as I was moving some laundry from the washer to the dryer, but when I went back into the house, my husband met me with the offer of a hug.

We have a policy of never rejecting a hug, even if we're very angry. And after we had hugged each other very close, I turned to him and clarified the reason for my anger, which was only partly directed at him.

But over the next couple of hours, the Lord kept working in my mind and my heart, bringing me to the real root of my anger, in this situation: I was worried, fearful about our finances for the next couple of months. Instead, I needed to trust God, who has never failed to meet our needs. I didn't need to spell our all the reasons I was fearful; He already knew and He already has it all in hand.

After church, in the evening, my husband told me he was proud of me! He understands the weight of managing our finances, both business (which we own) and personal; he knows the load is sometimes too much. But, as he said, it is necessary that I do the managing--always with his agreement, when a big decision is to be made--so that he is free to do the real work of our business, that only he can do.

Proud of me. Go figure. Oh, I did tell him I was very sorry for my tantrum of the morning, and I told him what I had learned in it. All is well.

Vicki said...

To Anonymous @ 10:54 a.m. - You asked your question of Traci, but I just have to jump in with my 2 cents' worth. Have you tried telling God how angry at Him you are? I have, once or twice, been so angry that I yelled it at Him and would have thrown something at Him, if I could have.

Notice I am still alive. He did not get angry at me, condemn me, or strike me dead. He is compassionate, patient, and oh, so kind. He understood the fear and sense of injustice behind my anger, and my love for someone very special to me for whom I was afraid.

He already knows your anger and the reason(s) for it. You might as well tell Him about it, whether you are a yeller, or one who gets very quiet, when angry.

Now I'll back out and let Traci repond.

Anonymous said...

Please pray that I can move on and not be angry and bitter toward my in-laws and husband. They have hurt me so much and I feel like anyone would be angry if they had to deal with what I have, but the emotions are damaging my marriage and other relationships, effecting my work, and almost all aspects of my life at this point and I need help.

Melanie said...

i would definitely use some prayer. i have been bottling up anger for a long time and now it is threatening to take over my whole being. please pray for me.

Melanie said...

i would definitely use some prayer. i have been bottling up anger for a long time and now it is threatening to take over my whole being. please pray for me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this! Please pray for me. I have huge issues with anger and unforgiveness for my husband because he had a affair and I'm still finding things that are suspicious and so hurtful and disrespectful. I just went off on him the other day and went backu old ways of yelling, screaming, swearing and almost broke the computer monitor. I was so angry and yea sadly only felt justified in that very moment. I have learned through this nightmare that nothing justifies my anger and I must seek Gods peace, strength, love, grace and mercy so I can speak to my husband calmly and not fly off the handle. I have struggled so much with this on the huge topics and triggers of his affair and/or disrespectful behavior. I know the only way out of this darkness is to turn to God and remain at his side...to stay on this righteous path with him. Thank you for your prayers!

Anonymous said...

I so struggle with anger! I end up resisting the urge to yell at my kids for arguing, name calling, not picking up... The list goes on and on. I find myself successfully relying on His faithfulness when I feel my pressure start to rise, and then out of the blue, I have hit my limit and I explode into a raging mess. I confess my sin to God and my kids, only to find myself in the same place again tomorrow. Please pray for me to change my heart so that I may glorify Him in all that I say and do. Thanks in advance, A hurting Mom

Sonja said...

Hi Tracie,

I am struggling with forgiving someone for lying to me a few months ago. I was extremely hurt. It seems that no matter how many times I try to convince myself or the other person or even not let it come back up it always does.
I've prayed and prayed. Some days it seems that it's fine then the next it takes over in a discussion.

Please pray for my heart and pray for our relationship.

Thank you so much Tracie.

Best! Sonja

karen w said...

Please pray for my husband, Seth. He is having an extremely hard time with anger and his job. He needs to release the anger & move on with his work relationships & rely on God to help him. I forwarded him your P31 devotional today. He's not a big reader, so I pray God gives him the desire to read it & HEAR what it is saying! Thank you for a great devotional.

Anonymous said...

My heart and prayers go out to all of you mommies who have posted here and to all of those who could not bring themselves to post. I know where you are coming from and this blog post has really hit right where I need it on a BaD day!!! I spent most of naptime today on the floor of my 4 year old daughters room praying for our relationship. The other half of nap time I found this post. Talk about God trying to knock you over the head with something!!! Please pray for me and my family we are really struggling with anger in all of our hearts and I want it out of my home!!! --D

Anonymous said...

Hi Tracie - this devotional spoke directly to me. i just prayed to God about the anger that I have towards my now ex-boyfriend yesterday. I said and did some things in my anger that I am not proud of and had to ask for forgiveness for. I wanted him to feel the hurt, anger disappointment and frustration that I was feeling. This happeneded a few weeks ago and I feel justified in my anger! I am having a HARD time letting the anger go! I am so angry that it is consumming me. I am graduating from law school in a few weeks but my anger has totally stolen my joy and I cant even praise God for this major accomplishment in my life because of my anger. I try and pretend that I am not angry because I know what the word of God says but I just dont know how to get rid of the anger. Please pray for me because this anger is consumming my life and thoughts and it is causing me to be on an emotional roller coaster and to be someone that I am not. Thank you for allowing God to use you.

Anonymous said...

I am so blessed to have found this today! I have felt so terribly alone in my hurt over my husband's affair and pornography addiction. He has been sober for 3 years and we have done a tremendous amount of counseling. Somehow, I thought everything would be happily ever after if he were faithful and sober. Of course it's not because life doesn't work that way. Instead, I see clearly my husband's character flaws that made him choose these behaviors in the first place. Changing character is deep, hard work and when my husband hurts me, much old pain and hurt come back--sometimes so fresh. I have been in a time of impatience and discouragement--on the verge of giving up on my marriage and bitterness. Even on the verge of giving up on God. This post today and reading the other comments reminds me I am not alone. Even if these things are not safe to discuss in my church, there are Christian women who are walking this same tough road and do understand. Please pray for me. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Please pray for me too I have been angry and miserable for awhile now over a year ago I had people that was close to me and most of them I could trust When a relationship I was in for awhile turned to a person from my church and she pretended to be my friend and it all went down hill from there it hurt more then I could almost bare and still does. I felt that my friend from church told me the right thing to do including my pastor but after they helped me move I felt like I was just dropped off and abandoned no one had anything to say to me or even called to see how I was those were one of the darkest moments of my life. I still feel very alone I just can't understand. I have gone back to lthe church and it seems like I'm avoided alot. I don't know why I brought the man I was seeing in the relationship to the church in the first place and this is what I get.I feel so angry all the time He still goes there and so does she I don't run into them bc I go to a different time. I just feel soooo betrayed by all at sometimes. I don't know what to do I pray but I still end up emotionally upset as well as angry and confused about the whole situation.I get soo overwelmed trying to get rid of the anger on my own Maybe God has provided this blog for me I don't know so please please pray for me

Anonymous said...

soo very much in need of prayer on this subject. Been hurt too much from too many people and the anger just builds up so much I feel like I'm going to explode but instead I have a bad attitude to people around me that don't deserve it. God know what I am going through and I am so gratefull for this blog.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for today's devotion. Please pray for me, that God would soften my heart toward my husband, show me my own sins and give me a heart of repentance, and also fill me with His power to love and to forgive. I want to be loving and stable; I despise myself for my anger, especially the way it hurts our marriage and family. I am tired of being in this struggle with my temper and resentment. Please pray for me to submit to God's discipline, guidance, and will for my life. Bless you for your ministry.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tracie! Thank you for this message. I have been angry an frustrate with my 8 yr old son. He's not doing good in school, he tell stories about the simple petty stuff. All I want to be is a great mother. I know I have a temper at times but I am working on it. Also my soon to be mother in law came out and said that she feels like she is losing her son when we get married this October and she dont know how to feel about her son getting married. It really made me feel some type of way and it makes me very angry. Her son and I have been together almost 8 years with a 2 year old son. I mean really? Could it be that she is almost 40 years old and isnt married yet? Jealousy? Anyway this blog post hit the spot and I really need to work on my anger and learn how to forgive. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening!

Anonymous said...

Like so many others have said here this was for me today. WHen I saw the title I laughed because God JUST knows it all even when we try to stuff it and be okay, even after a long, hurtful weekend... again. Most of all I fear for the damage to my dc and the poor example I have been. And now, how can i of all people help them in their own sinful patterns of anger and rage with all the sibling rivarly? Look forward to future articles on this. Thank you, Tracie for faithfully writing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for this post! It was very timely. I have strugelled with feeling angry/short tempered toward my 4 year old son often. I felt a breakthrough in this area after reading the book "She's Going to Blow". However, I once again found myself back in this situation over the past couple weeks with both my 3 & 4 year old sons. Psalm 37:8, really hit home for me. I am writing it down & memorizing it and, with your prayers and God's help, knowing that tomorrow will be a calmer day.

Anonymous said...

This definitely hit home with me. I've been trying to forgive and let go of anger over a situation that happened almost 2 yrs ago. I want to release it and be done with it, but don't know how.

Anonymous said...

For years I've struggled with anger, and felt so out of control and helpless against it. Recently, I've been praying for God's guidance to help me with this problem. Thank you for your offer to pray for those of us who desperately need it. I sense that God is responding as I reach out to touch the hem of his garment, as the Prov 31 devotional described.

Anonymous said...

Tracie,

Thank you so much for this posting! I could definitely use all the prayer possible. I feel myself getting angry with my boyfriend over the smallest things said or done because of a few things he did early on in our relationship. I feel like I am always looking for something to get mad about or that I am just never happy. Please pray that I can control my anger, truly forgive him and let the past go. God Bless You and Yours!

Anonymous said...

I am struggling with anger at my adult daughter who is back home and pregnant. She is unmarried and the baby's father broke off the relationship as soon as she announced she was pregnant. I KNOW I have to be godly and be Jesus to her, but some days are worse than others and I do feel angry. Sad, hurt, disappointed, and probably nearly every other negative emotion possible.

Jenny Smith said...

Please pray for me and my anger issues. I have a hard time controlling myself sometimes! It is a huge struggle for me that is because of things that happened in the past I need to get past and move on from and am finding it hard to do.

SJ said...

Hi Tracie, God's been speaking to me about forgiveness for a couple of weeks now. I have been asking Him to reveal to me what and/or who I need to forgive. I've sad an underlying sadness that's plagued me for the past couple of years that I really haven't been able to identify. As I've been trying to work through this with a counselor there have been some revelations but none having to do with anger or forgiveness. The whisper in my heart keeps saying that I need to forgive myself. Please pray for me to understand this and to get to the root of it so that I will no longer be oppressed by it. I know God is doing a powerful work inside of me right now, I so much want freedom this year. Thank you for the work you do through your writing. Bless You!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the Proverbs 31 post regarding anger. I too struggle with this ugly, relentless sin. I grew up with a Father who had a horrible temper. All of his siblings also deal with anger and temper issues. Please pray for me and this ongoing struggle. I feel so ashamed and unworthy of my Lord's love and forgiveness. How many times do I fall short, I feel like such a hypocrite! Thanks to all who have left comments. I really thought I was the only miserable Christian battling with this curse.

Rochelle said...

Tracie,
I would appreciate your prayers and am also looking forward to any further insight you may have to share. I have tried to overcome anger in my life by begging God to take it from me, by willpower, by bottling it, by letting it out, by siting down and "intentionally forgiving" and most recently I have have simply thrown my hands up in the air and just started praying each time (usually after the event) that God would sort it cause I acknowledge I can't do it on my own. My ladies group has just started studying the Bible on this topic hoping for some insight as several of them are having similiar issues. The hardest thing is that we are all angry with those we should be loving and want to love. What's incredibly frustrating is that I agree with what you have written, but when the same thing continues to happen and hurts you again and again it seems so unfair that my only response is to forgive and then wait for the same thing to happen again... I definitely need prayer, cause I do not have all the answers or probably even the right questions. It is however something I want to deal with, or have dealt with in my life, I want to know how to be angry without sinning. I want God's joy and peace in every area of my life. I want God to say to me "well done my good and faithful servant". I want to honour Him and I know my anger isn't honouring Him and seems to hurt me as well as those I love. Thank you for your prayers.

Father God, as someone who experiences anger I want to surrender it to you. I also want to come on behalf of all the women who have had the courage to post here today and I want to pray that you would help them practically with their anger. I also pray for your spiritual protection over each of them so that Jesus will have victory in this area of our lives and that the devil will be defeated! By your Spirit transform us into your likeness.

Anonymous said...

Tracie, thank you for sharing this much needed message and for your graciously lifting up to our Loving Lord healing prayers for everyone who has shared their pain here as well as for those unknown who read and have silent pain.

Thank you, and may our Lord Bless you richly, Tracie.

Susan said...

If it's not too late, please pray for me and my anger. I need to set a better example for my children of how to handle anger and frustration. Thank you for your message!